The Ziggurat of Doom

Okay, Nintendo. Let’s have a little chat.

The Wii’s not a bad system. Sure, it renders only in legacy 480p at best, is rife with lame gimmicky minigame collections, has a shortage of quality titles deeply and disturbingly reminiscent of the Game Cube, and has no next-gen media features. But hey, it’s cheap, you won’t find Metroid Prime 3 on any other consoles, and it can be quite a bit of fun at parties. And you can get a bunch of classic console games on it like Super Metroid, DKC2, and Super Mario World. And that’s good times.

But let’s talk online.

Now, I’m not necessarily asking for an Xbox Live scale system here. Sure, you want to keep it casual. You don’t want or need the Gamerscore point-whoring, or the reputation system, or even the leaderboards. Fine.

But in the name of Mario and his seven apostles, this “Friends Code” bullshit needs to burn and die. If I want to play against someone in, to choose a totally random example of a game that I might conceivable want to play against someone in, Smash Bros. Brawl, I need to give them a totally arbitrary 12 digit number. And they have to give me theirs. And if we want to play another, different game, like (to choose another totally random example, the upcoming Mario Kart game), we have to exchange another set of different arbitrary 12 digit numbers.

And if I play against someone online, and they seem like a good guy and I want to play them again in the future, well, too bad, because there’s no friends list. Not that I can tell if they’re worth adding to this nonexistent but desperately-needed feature, because there’s no way to chat.

What the hell, Nintendo? Fucking fix it, because as much fun as Brawl is, I’ll just wait for Super Turbo HD to get my online fighter fix. Xbox Live isn’t perfect, but at least it’s functional.

WrestleMania’s lead-in: ‘Nipplegate’ — Regional Authority, Interstate 4, WrestleMania — OrlandoSentinel.com

The WrestleMania banner on the side of the Lynx building in downtown Orlando shows wrestlers without their nipples. A Lynx bus still sports wrestlers with nipples.

I know we’ve had posts about Improv Everywhere before, but I don’t think I’d seen their spontaneous musical before.

Do you have nightmares? Do you want them?
Read the rest of this entry »

NYT

Fuck the hippies. Our generation is so much weirder.

Hello and welcome to this edition of Gundam Report.

In the news today, Shinjuku’s Kamiigusa station has begun erecting a large Gundam statue at the entrance to the station.

I find the pose suitably filled with JUSTICE.

Edit: Link with more pictures in crazy moon language for those of you who can read it

Gonzo’s parent company is trying to offer same-day English-subtitled anime simulcasts on free streaming video services (i.e. youtube) and may also be considering a higher-res fee-based service.

Triviagasm: Best Space Battle Smack Talk If you like lists, this is the blog for you.

Charlie Rose fights a bear?

This is a potentially neat wiki that might interest our general denizenry:

http://www.fanhistory.com/index.php/Main_Page

I haven’t looked it over in any detail yet though.

RAZOR MANIAC JUMPS FED PROSECUTOR IN COURT - New York Post

“Why don’t you try me instead of her?” stenographer Ron Tolkin shouted at the cowardly criminal as he leaped on Wright, before the group fell to the ground in a heap.

Both the elderly lawyer and Tolkin, 60, are former military men who served in Vietnam.

If the court stenographer was busy laying down the pain, then how do they know what he said?

One day the sous-chef said to Alton Brown, “Master, how much kosher salt is the right amount for a rib roast?” And Alton Brown said, “Dice two cloves of garlic.” In this moment, the sous-chef achieved enlightenment.

(Steven Brust, Words Words Words.)

Speaking of that, he has a new Vlad book out in July. Celebration is mandatory.

According to Michael Bay.
I fully support the ad techniques used in this commercial, as they are Awesome.

The Last Starfighter: The Next-To-Last Starfighter Preps For Flight
Heh. I remember this movie fondly.

The Fool will probably disapprove, because he’s a non-post-rock-liking heathen, just because he thinks music should have rhythm or melody or something, but The Hierophant heartily approves of this week’s 4am indie music compilation from noted Internet Deity Warren Ellis, and encourages you to all go listen and/or download.

(Memo: In general, The Hierophant likes the 4am, and indeed, most of the stuff Warren posts, but he (a) has had a few drinks tonight and is feeling loquacious, and (b) likes today’s especially.)

New laws from stupid people:
City may ban little baggies

Tiny plastic bags used to sell small quantities of heroin, crack cocaine, marijuana and other drugs would be banned in Chicago, under a crackdown advanced Tuesday by a City Council committee.

Ald. Robert Fioretti (2nd) persuaded the Health Committee to ban possession of “self-sealing plastic bags under two inches in either height or width,” after picking up 15 of the bags on a recent Sunday afternoon stroll through a West Side park.

D&D Creator Gary Gygax is dead.